Patient diet preferences

Today we were in the surgical/trauma ICU for a consult on a 60 yo pt. with poor po intake. He's on hemodialysis 3 times a week and has a host of other issues. We went to talk to him and it turns out the thinks the food sucks (which is understandable, considering he's on both the renal and neutropenic diets, which doesn't leave much left to enjoy). We were trying to find out what foods he did like so that we could get him to eat more. The first he mentioned was duck, which we had to tell him we didn't have. He also mentioned fresh country sausage and biscuits with Grandma molasses, which were also unavailable. Things went downhill pretty fast because he was not pleased with his diet restrictions and didn't see why he should have to follow them since the hospital didn't really care anyway if he got better (I am paraphrasing--the language he used was a bit cruder). He also mentioned a neighbor who's also on HD, who makes fried chicken and rice in the middle of the night and also does 25-cent hits of crack. If she can do whatever she wants, why can't he?

Anywho, so my preceptor asked him if he liked milkshakes (she was going to offer a Great Shakes drink) and he interjected that yes, he would love it if we went and got him a Bojangles milkshake. My preceptor clarified but he didn't seem thrilled by the offer of a substitute. After a bit more back and forth he mentioned that he had $100 with him and he asked if we would go to the store for him and by him a small, $2 ("or actually, a dollar ninety-somethin cents) bottle of Everclear. After my preceptor declined, he said that a small bottle of Jack Daniels would also be good. At this point, my preceptor realized that we should start scooting out of there, but she tried one more time to ask if there was anything else that he might like to see on his supper tray. He said "I'd like some lettuce...," at which the dietian said "Oh, you like lettuce? We could bring you a nice salad..." The patient then continued with "...sprinkled with Everclear. And with some blue cheese." He was told that blue cheese was not available either and we left.